3 Ways Stress Can Be Helpful, 3 Ways Stress Can Be Harmful

Stress is such an ugly word. Since childhood we learn that stress is the “bad guy”. While, sometimes that is certainly true, in this post we will explore some different ways to think of stress in order to change our relationship with the word, and redefine how it controls us in our daily lives.

I don’t recall why, but I know at a young age I learned that stress can cause ulcers. I probably didn’t even fully grasp what an ulcer was (probably some ultra horrifying image of literal holes in internal organs) but anytime I felt even a little upset about something, or had a stomach ache, I just knew ulcers were forming. And, while I am now 41 years old and have never experienced an ulcer, I still have memories of those concerns. Stress has received a bad rap for other physical maladies as well— grey hair and pre mature wrinkles to name a couple. Long story short, we have been taught in our culture that stress is to be avoided, that being stressed out is a negative attribute that will likely cause other’s to not want to be around us. In turn, we learn to ignore stress, or what is sometimes referred to as “bottling”, or shoving and hiding stress internally so no one sees it.

Stress as the Hero

This entirely too narrow concept of stress paints it in a bad light and by proxy, forces people that are stressed out to act in ways that aren’t true to themselves. When in actuality, stress has many significantly positive roles in our lives. Here are three:

#1 Survival

When we are stressed out, our body does significant internal, completely automatic things to deal with it. For instance, if you are walking in the woods and you encounter a bear, your body will, without you doing much to provoke it, respond and tell you, “Well, this thing is dangerous. I should do something to stay safe”. And, due to your internal processes, you will be able to make decisions that keep you out of danger. I am no wilderness expert, but you will respond by shouting, or playing dead, or running (whatever is appropriate for bear encounters, I live in Illinois and I have had zero wild bear meetings). The clarity to make life saving decisions in highly dangerous situations is thanks to stress.

#2 Growth

We have all heard the saying, “No pain, no gain”. Most commonly, this is used when people are exercising. But what does this mean? Well, this refers to the biological way in which muscle grows when working out. When, putting the muscle to work (stress), the muscle fibers are essentially tearing, causing some discomfort as different chemicals are released in the process. The muscle gain then, is the result of the person resting after the work out. As the muscles begin to heal, tissue builds up where the muscles were put under stress, and over time, this creates larger muscles. Therefore, the saying goes, you cannot experience muscle growth, without the pain (stress).

#3 Motivation

We all know those people (maybe you are one) that work better under a deadline. While a lot of procrastinators have used this as their mantra (I am very guilty of this in college), there is some truth to it. When given a certain time frame in which to produce results, people tend to respond by being more driven to accomplishing the task. When a project completion is given no date by which it should be finished, it can be too easy to become disorganized, unimportant, and in some cases, completely forgotten about. The addition of a time frame (stress) gives the project importance and sets a unified goal.

Stress as the Villain

Despite the above benefits stress can create, stress can certainly take on some very negative aspects. These are not solely physical issues either. When left unchecked, stress can create significant issues for us in our daily lives. Here are three ways stress can be harmful:

#1 Sleeplessness

When I am feeling significantly stressed out, one of the first things I notice is its effect on my sleep. I toss and turn, sometimes taking an extremely long time to fall asleep. Or, I wake up at 2:00 a.m. and my mind just starts worrying or focusing on whatever it is that is stressing me out and, welp, might as well just get up for the day, right? On top of everything else, now I am tired and will struggle with focus at work, I will be less productive, and therefore, I will be under more stress. It becomes a very vicious cycle.

#2 Relationship Problems

Another really common issue caused by stress impacts how we engage with other people in our lives. From the stranger driving on the road next to us, to our spouse or children, stress creeps its ugly head in and can cause chaos. When we are stressed, we tend to be a bit more irritable (especially if we aren’t getting enough sleep at night). We are a bit more on edge, and even more sensitive to any additional stress. So, when we get home from that highly stressful day at work, and the dog has an accident on the floor before you can even put your things down, or your kids are wrestling over the stuffed monkey while you are trying to take to your spouse, our tempers tend to be a bit closer to coming out. Another vicious cycle, as when we lose our cool, we now have effected everyone else’s day and will inevitably have to work to repair those relationships.

#3 Imbalance

This is a big one for me and one that I tend to monitor in my life pretty rigidly (because I learned the hard way the consequences of not doing so). When we are stressed, we tend to narrow our focus and end up spending way more time thinking about the stressor, and way less time on self care. When all things are working well, we balance our time with work and leisure, filling our days with things that edify and fulfill us. So, we work, and then maybe go home and spend quality time with our family. Or, we engage with one of our hobbies. But it’s incredible how quickly our stress can make us neglect those parts of our lives that give us sanctuary. And before we know it, we haven’t done any fulfilling, meaningful, self care in weeks and our stress has simply compounded, making it seem impossible to put things back into balance.

These are just a few examples of ways that stress if helpful or harmful. In what ways does stress impact your life negatively or positively? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. And, if you need help managing stress, if you are tired the effects stress has on your relationships or wellbeing, or you just need help finding that balance once again, please reach out to me and schedule a session today.

Photo credit: Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash